bby , its th ♥ letter .

He kept on delaying

2009-02-11T02:28:00.000-08:00

Shah, my ex .kept on delaying in giving my clothes back .fcuk kan ?.
CB urhs .i wann dhem !.tapy dhier mcm delay gitu .apr seyh .
jgn smp akhu dapat tawu dhier bagi betina dhier pkai sua !
FCUK off urhs .

Its Been A While

2009-02-11T02:23:00.000-08:00

hey guys.
its been a lng time since ie last updated. sorie guys .life's in sec4 is quite stressing .N level consists of 1 and a half years of studies & we're only given 6mtnhs !. CB kanns ?. nowadays, ie never go sch .due to fever . on fri , th FEB, i had a terrible flu & my whole desk is full of tissues .fcukfcukfcuk .hahs .now,getting better .
(:

long time never update.

2009-01-10T03:36:00.000-08:00

Long time never update. Haha. Never get th chance to use computer. Haha. Well, these few days been tiring for me. Besides schooling, play catching almost everyday. Those involved were Akai, Ani , Mirul , Kimy , Indra , Aim , Domoll , Ayu , Haziq , Me. Haha. Play and play. Monday, Wednesday & Friday met my dear. I love him alot. Infinitely. Never go to school for those three days. Haha.

Loves,
AkhuAisyah.

181208

2008-12-20T02:26:00.000-08:00

today ,4 events happen in my life(:
1st ,Shah's bdae .i wish him at nite but he never reply .nahh ,dont give a damn .
2nd ,Sygkhu get his N level results & im happy for him dhat he passed .
CONGRATS dear !.
3rd ,Lukman a..k.a Kimy gets to know which school he goes to .dhat is ,Tanglin Sec .My Syg's sch !.hahs .we never listed TSS in th list .but nemind .Kimy dont mind .haha .
4rd ,went to WCP with Syg for his friend's Belated & Advanced Bdae .
Happy Belated Bdae to Sulaiman & Happy Advanced Bdae to Fadil !.
may ur wishes come true ,yaw !.

I Love Firdaus Bin Rahmat .
p/s ;not BTE eyh syg .hehes .
:D

aliosamigos !.

SyaJEPON.

151208

2008-12-17T01:31:00.000-08:00

i patched up wit firdaus .
weeee~ he sound me at th playground near my house .
he came & Didi ,Star ,Domoll ,Rizal ,Kimy ,Ani ,Me & my mum was at home .
when he & me were walking on th corridor to go to my house ,i saw Rizal .
His face is different sia .
hahas .
well , i was happy when im with Fir .
he treat me well .
me & him ,we never fought before .
not even once .
haha .

Shah ,he's dead ,
he's outta my life for now .
i dont think im sad for dhis breakup .
coz before th breakup ,we had a conflict .
so yeah ,im not sad .
not a bit .
tho i admit ,sometimes i did think abt him .

but i got ny syg mahh ?.
i love Acem Fir ,okeyh ?.

SyaJEPON

Someone asked me for stead .

2008-12-02T02:42:00.000-08:00

one of my ex neighbour ,Rizal ,asked me for stead .okay ,he's not hensem .but if he's attached he'll take good care of his gurl .he's loyal .but he's 13 & im 15 .how can it ever be ?.hmm .okeyh ,he's taller dhan me .dhats fine .but he's jokes are quite unacceptable at times .
idk what should i do ?.my mum said earlier ,she dont want me to be close with Rizal .but me & him ,we're just Teman Tapi Mesra ,dhat is ,friends but very intimate .idk what i should do .i really dont .i need help !.please .im not a doll .i jst broke off with shah .how can u expect me to go to Rizal ?.i have feelings too ,u know .i need time to think & see if Rizal will change for me .Just time will tell th ans .

Truly ,
Aisyah .

Its th end of me & him .

2008-12-02T02:19:00.000-08:00

its th end of us .yesterday ,1st dec i asked for a breakup .coz akhu da tak buleyh tahan lagi dgn prangai shah .he's been to much .tho' i know ,losing his love is my mistake .yesterday ,when i hang out at takraw court watching Akai ,Rizal ,Didi ,Wan ,Kimy ,Joe playing takraw & I ,Fyfyn ,Fyra( Wan's gf ) & Ani went to Playground to chit-chat .Me, Fyra & Ani smoke 3 sticks of ciggarates .dhen ,we went back to th takraw court .Fyra asked me who's my guy .dhen i showed her ,his pic .To my unexpectations ,Fyra told me she once saw Shah bringing a girl home .Fyra lived near Shah's .in my thought was playing "khua main tahi ngan akhu .akhu pon buleyh main tahi ngn khau !" i asked for a breakup .he seemed so chilled .doesnt seem to me dhat he have any feelings .my heart was broken .i cant get over him but i dint cry as worse as i cried for him last time .maybe ,dhis time round ,im ready to let him go .only god knows what's written for me .maybe i can find a better guy dhat him .but im not ready .next year im taking my N level .dhat's one of th reason i ask him for a breakup .coz i knew ,if we continue to be a stead like a friend and always quarrel ,i cant take my N level seriously .so ,dhats th best thing ; to let him go .

Truly,
Aisyah .

went to meet Elly th other Day .

2008-11-27T01:33:00.001-08:00

, see dhis bitch on top ?.dhis is my suar-est besties ever .she's gorgeous arent she ?.she's been with me for 96mths .her craziness made u guys wanna kick her ass !.hahas .ana ,thanks for all th moments we had for th pass 8years .u've been such a great friend .dhis ladyy here ,she fcuking nice to be with .she'll be dhere whenever i needed her .she's willing to lend a shoulder whenever i need one to cry .she's great .nothing can replace her in my heart .when we met dhat time ,we smoke ,we laugh our heads-off .haha .fun indeed .wansuey !. (:

Sya .

2008-11-27T01:28:00.000-08:00

, haha .i've finally succeeded in editing my photo .its not dhat i've never edit my photo .but dhis one ,i felt different .nyahaha .okeyh fine .maybe to u guys ,its not dhat nice .but to me ,its worthy .haha .niways ,if u guys have any comment on it ,comment in my friendster ,yaw !.its chocolatehazel.eyes@hotmail.com .haha .wansuey !.

Argh, fine .he dont love me .

2008-11-26T02:53:00.000-08:00

, yeahyeah .he told me 'i dont love u' .
i admit ,i cant accept th facts .
but i have to .
he love me NO MORE .
argh .
i just cant let him go .
i really cant .
he meant so much to me .
but ,y must he harbour such enmity towards me ?.
why cant he just forgive me ?.
i wanted to heal th wound in his heart .
a wound wll be recovered when a scab is developed .
but he kept peeling off th scab again & again .
dhat would only hurt him mre .
but he dont understand how much i want him & i love him .
he meant too much to me .to much .

IF he ever read dhis ,i would want him to know ,dhat no matter what ,i'll always love u .
Takecare, syggkhu (:

a conflict between us

2008-11-11T00:34:00.000-08:00

long story.
but i had a BIGBIG conflict with him.
i really had.
that time, we're on th verge of breaking up.
i cried like hell for two days untill i can hardly open my eyes.

plz , i just dont want me & shah to broke off .
coz i truly love him so damn much !!

ohyaa , when i met him on 081108,
at that moment , i had a conflict with him.
we went to vivo to meet Dayah,Linda,Azura,Farhanah,Atiqah&a girl i dont know.

then me & him went to MAC to eat.
aft that, me & him went MT FABER to watch th sunset.
thats sweet on our ANNI.
(:

Loves,
Aisyah
(:

Shah came to myy house .

2008-11-05T03:57:00.000-08:00

todayy , aygg came myy house at abt
3pm+ . haha . i supposed to mit him luhh
actually .
but , it turn out i cant go out unless ..
nahh , its okeyh . no need to know luhh kayys .
haha . he came all of a sudden while i was
sitting near th gate . dhen , all of a sudden
i heard someone said 'Assalamualaikum'
i can have a heart attack sia when i saw him .
i was so shocked ! hah .
while , we played game in my house .
a game dhat somehow need to be
connected to th tv .
he & lukman played battlecity.
hahas . i left him alone & played his psp .
my mum & stepdad went out to take foods
from th PERTAPIS .
dhen , suddenly at abt 6+ he said
he wants to go home .
what th ?
he said i never layan him ?
but im just leaving him alone coz he's
busy playing game ?
&& i get scolded for that ?
argh !
i just dont understand luhh seyh !

Loves ,
Aisyah .

My dad's COMING home

2008-11-03T23:58:00.000-08:00

my step dad has just released from jail just now.
in th morning.
whoa.
its been like 9mths since i last saw him.
miss-ed him ?
nahh , i dont .
i shld say that luhh .
haha.
well , my bro n sis were excited upon hearing he's coming back .
especially ; lukman .
my bro . hahas .
my mum told me a secret .
shhhh .
i wasnt supposed to tell my siblings luhh .
ahaha.
my dad were to released on th 4th of NOV.
but my mum lied & told them he's gonna be released
on th 11th .
( konon nk surprise luhh tuhh )
haha.
i was excited .
not because he's my STEPDAD .
but maybe because im gonna feel awkward whiit
him arnd .
cmon , its been 9mths since he last stepped into
myy house .
n now , he's back ?
Sape mau gyy layan ??
haha.
haiSh .
gonna write sooooon .
(:

JUNIOR CHEF

2008-10-31T02:30:00.000-07:00

I got a course in sch.
we were given 3 choices
:: JUNIOR CHEF
:: HAIRSTYLING
:: VIDEO GAMING

i chose JUNIOR CHEF (:

it was FUN.
though i just came in for 2 days though th duration was 5 days.
im too lazyyyyyyyy to wake up to go to sch.
cmon' , its SCH HOLS.
who wld bother to wake up early in th morning , ryt ?
haha.
well , when i was there , i learn how to cook OREO CHEEEEEESEEEEEEECAKEEEEEEEEEE.
delicious babe.
hahs.
i wont forgot th chef && instructor Farah (:

it was fun working with them.
i miss th lesson when they learnt to cook LAMB CHOP && BBQ BONELESS CHICKEN LEG.
wouldnt it be nice if i were there.

hmm.

Taking Care.
Aisyah(:

He Went Camping.

2008-10-30T05:34:00.000-07:00

argh.my guy went camping from 30th-31st OCT.
he'll be back on th 1st NOV.
shit!!
imh sia.
cant contact him all that.
i want HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!
argh.

ohyaa , my guy planned to buy a couple ring by nxt mth.
SILVER 925.
Coooooooool huh.
haha.
i want i want!!
:D

well , i love him luhh.

Missing him,
Aisyah.

HSM3.

2008-10-30T05:19:00.000-07:00

went to vivo to watch HSM3.haha.
it was GREAT FUNFUNFUN!:D
th show was GREAT.
really AMAZING.
th part when Vanessa was transferred to STAMFORD UNIVERSITY && they(Zac Efron)
talked on th phone telling how much they miss each other , i CRIED.
Omg.
haha.
that was romantic.
another romantic scene was when aft their basketball tournament & th WILDCATS won , Troy & Gabriella sit on th hut on top of th tree .
Aww , soo sweet aint they ?
haha.
well , atf that went to th VIVO's last storey && lazing around .
atf that , Shaaaaaaaaaah , me & MIra Kecyk went to Harbourfront to eat.
th meal was on my guy .
haha. Sooooooooo generous of him .
then went home.

Toodles.
Sya.

that SLUT.

2008-10-13T22:31:00.000-07:00

Hah. I gotta tell y'all this.
i hate this Slut by th name of F******.
She's my guy's friend.
Oh well, th thing that i hated her soooooooo much is because..
She ever made me MAAAAAAAAAAD!!!
When I and Shaaaaaaaaah had nothing to do with eachother anymore for 6mths,
i went to Shaaaaaaaaaah's house as its his brother's bdae & his mom invited me.
So i jolly-well come down to his house and there, i saw this slut tugging Shaaaaaaaaaaah
in her arms.
Wouldn't I be angry?
She knew im Shaaaaaaaaaaah's ex and yet, she wanna make me 'JEALOUS?'
Ohfcukingshits laa.
& now, when im back with Shaaaaaaaaah, i read Shaaaaaaaaaaaaah's msg.
I saw F called me a BITCH?
Ohwell, thanx Slut.
I AM a B.I.T.C.H.!
B-eautiful
I-ntelligent
T-alented
C-ute
H-ot
Hahaaaaaaaaaaaaah. lawl.
That's lame , Aisyah.
Yeah, she admitted to Shaaaaaaaaaaaaah that she loved him.
So why in th first place she dint confess to him??
FCUK.I HATE YOU,SLUT.
Then on Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaah's open house, she came along with her two other frends.
She wore REEEEEEED baju kurung?
Well, i gave a fucking glnce at her and i went outside.
Shaaaaaaaaaah notice that action & confronted me.
But he said, he understand how i feel?
haiSh.
then when F went home, her 'frend or cuzeey' msg'd Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
She said Shaaaaaaaaaaah dint know how F suffered and how F cant accept th fact that F loved Shaaaaaaaaah.
I was holding Shaaaaaaaaah's hp when th msg was received.
I passed th hp to Shaaaaaaaaaaaah & walked off.
Shaaaaaaaah tugged me in his arms and said 'I love U. I dont love F. U're willing to leav Fir for me, i'm willing to leave F for U'
when i heard that my tears rolled down my cheeks.
I'm so sad. But can i believe what he said?
Idk.
Only he himself can proof to me that he's trustworthy.
Hope what he said is th truth.
Ily, sygku(:

Loves,
♀ﻯλα ♥

LOVE.

2008-10-13T22:17:00.000-07:00

I love Ilham Adli Shaaaaaaaaaah.
Yesyes, I do really love hiim.
Well, he planned (or maybe WE) , to get engaged to me NEXT YEAR!
Argh, isn't that wonderful? Hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Oh well, but my aunt didnt agree.
My mum did. My aunt says im tooooooo young.
Oh cmon. I'll be 16 nextyear.
Is that still considered as young?
Haha. I love Shaaaaaaaaaah.
I never love any guy like i love Shaaaaaaaaah.
He doesn't mean ANYTHING to me.
But he meant EVERTHING.
I love Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
I knew him on th 21st June 07.
I stead with him on th 23rd June 07.
Ohfcuk. I knew him for ony 2days?
& we're madly inlove till now?
Oh, Love is Indeed Blind, Babe.
(:

Loves,
♀ﻯλα ♥

141008

2008-10-13T20:55:00.000-07:00

hah.finally able to post another blog.
weel, today i had my 3rd and 2nd last paper.
That is, MT & Maths Paper 2.
Maths was really tough, as i expected.
i left a few questions blank-6a,6b,6c.
I had running nose this whole day-infected from MurulJannah Bte Mohd Zahid.
Hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. that cookie monster:D [ jgn mrah Nanah] (:
malay, as always was quite easy(though not reallt easy)
tomorrow, chemistry.last paper.
i dint study sia.
how ?
i dont wanna retain.
Aiyaaaaaiyaaaaaaaaai.
Later meeting my dear. To days never meet him.
He has been miss-ed! (:
(argh, this running nose is driving me NUUUUUUTS!!) :@
now, im at Bm lib. I was released early at 11.30
as my Maths pp2 ends at that time.
Feeling hungry, i thought i wanted to go Mac.
Wanna bring someone but donno who?
Jannah- went home
Attika- make passport
Atiqah- meeting her cuzeey at 12.30
Aien & Eida- went to Tanglin
Fasiha- went home
aiyaaaaaaaaaai.
Im hugry but paiseyh if i eat alone at Mac.
argh, nemind.
wait for ayg lors.
he msg'd me just now to inform that he might be late.
maybe he will be released at 2.
Gort NCDCC meeting at 1.45-2.
argh!!
Now, here i am.
Publishing story about what i had did today & what Im gonna do.
Typing&typing.
BOO-RING!!
okeyhlaa, gtg.
TTFN! :D
loves,
sya♥

raya day was FUN(:

2008-10-10T01:08:00.000-07:00

long time no update.
ahah.
hmm.
sorry yaw!
well,on th first day i went to two houses ony.
coz by 4pm , my siblings & i were so tired n sleepy.
haha.
so, we went hme.
nyeaha.
then a few days aft that, i went for raya visiting with shah n his frens.
gereks laa seyh.
kecoh slalu drgdrg tu seme.
haha.
well, these few days been busy going out to his frns hse.
tmrw , going to his open hse.
meetup with his frens agn.
nyeahah.

well, his fren,MAS, ask me what colour im gonna wear for his open hse.
n when i said GREEN, she told everyone to wear GREEN.
isn't that FUN?
nyeahaha.

well, i will turn up early of coz for his open hse.
wanna helpout laa.
rajin laa gytu.
(:
(bagge pe sya?haha:D)

well, gonna updat on other things too.

tadaa!!

LOVES,
SYA.

I MISS HER ):

2008-09-24T01:26:00.000-07:00

011008
:: th date that im NOT waiting for .
hahs .
well , to me there's no meaning in RAYA anymore .
eversince my grandma passed , my life was ruined & RAYA was meaningless to me .
i've NO mood to RAYA .
really , i've lost th mood to RAYA .
i missed my grandma .
i miss her cookings etc .
really , im not kidding .
:: if u guys got to taste her cooking .
u will always ASK FOR MORE (:
i miss those times when im at her house , finding white hairs for her .
i stiil rmbr th last moments i had with her .
Ya Allah .
sometimes , its so hard fot me to come to th fact that she's gone .
imiss her...
BADLY !!!
sometimes , during these times of th Holy Month , i can feel her presence in my house .

Last year , she passed during this month of th holy month .
its still fresh in my mind how it all happened .

::
I was at sch when my uncle called and told me my grandma was in her worse condition .
so i asked for an early leave to visit her in th hospital .

Upon reaching there , th doctor said that th chances of my grandma making it was thin .
i cries my heart out .

at 5pm , my family , my uncle , my mum's cousin and my grandpa leave th hospital and went home coz its breaking fast time .

when i was at my fiance's house at 9pm that day , my uncle called me saying that th nurses asked him to come down .
i told him to called my step-father .
then , my s-dad called me and asked me to follow to th hospital .
Upon reaching th CCU , i wen tinside my grandma's ward and standing there was my grandpa .
With tears , he sid to my mum , "Timah , mak kau da takde " ( Timah , your mum's gone )

That night was a horrible night for me .

I MISS MY GRANDMA )':

kehidupan..( LIFE )

2008-09-24T01:13:00.000-07:00

kehidupan iny dipenuhi dgn ranjau duri.
kadangkala aku termenung , memikirkan cara bagaimana utuk aku mengatasi masalah ku iny.
mengapa begitu bnyk masalah yg dtg menimpa diriku ?
mmg benar , org bisa melihat ku bahgia .
tetapi mereka tidak tahu apa yg sebenarnya tersirat di lubuk hati ku iny .
masalah yg aku hadapi begitu berat untuk ku pikul bersendirian .
tetapi dgn siapa harus ku luahkan dan berkongsi masalah ku ?
tiada siapa yg buleyh bantu .
hndk ku luahkan kdp tunang ku , namun bagi ku , dia tertalu matang untuk mengatasi masalah ku iny .
aku malu untuk beritahu dia .

kdgkala , aku rasa aku ingin pergi ke sesuatu tmtpt jd aku bisa pekik dgn sekuatkuat hati ku .
aku ingin melepaskan segala-galanya !!
aku bosan !!
aku bingit dgn kehidupan ku iny .
aku tk mahu hidop lag !!
itu laa yg aku rasakan .

bagiku tiada maknanya lagi aku hidop .
aku telah kehilangan org yg aku sygi di dlm kehidupan ku iny .

hanya yg tgl , mak & jga adq adq ku .
termasuk tunang ku juga .

aku tidak tahan dgn kehidupan iny .

):

yg benar ,
ECHAA .

Me & You... Drifting Apart..

2008-09-09T02:59:00.000-07:00

Me & Shah .
its like , both of us were drifting apart.
why must this happen?
both were busy with different stuffs.
i cant help missing hiim.
but i understand that he's busy.

me & him , we are not close as last tyme.
seldom msg , seldom meet each other etc.

sometymes , i dont feel his love anymore.
idk why ?

sometymes , when i wanna mit him ,
he tend to give excuses like
'my dad's at home'
'im tired'
'im going out with my frends'

whats behind all those stupid excuses ?

why is he trying to avoid me ?
what did i do ?

sometymes , i wonder , what am i to him ?
do he treat me like his ORDINARY frens ?
or his FIANCE ?
i cant think of any answers.

often , in my mind.
i kept thinking.
is he having any affair with any other gerls ?
till he avoids me each time ?

I MISS HIM SO MUCH !!!!!!!!!!

but sometimes , i just ignore th feelings.
coz i dont want him to think im so into him.

why must i find him first when he keeps ignoring me ?

when he's with his NCDCC frns or NS.
he dint even bother to reply my msgs.

but when he's with me,
ke kept on msging his frens.

does he even care about what i feel ?
why must it always be ME to care about him ?

only time will tell th answers.

What Happened On Th 080808

2008-09-09T02:38:00.000-07:00

Its a looooooong story.
but let me relate it to you all.
it happened quite a long time ago.
2 days after meeting Fir, Shah , my ex came back to my life and aske me to be with him again.
I was like 'wadda-hell?'
i was shocked but cant deny feeling over-joyed as i had been waiting for that moment a long time.
but what makes me dejected is ..
to hurt Fir's feelings.
i cant help but cried telling Fir what happened and i had to let go of him.
i knew , fir was sad. Like i do.
but , to me , what matters is.
My future + my Past.
you guys wont understand.
I had been with shah since last year.
but my love was rejected aft our 7th month.
it took me 6mths to overcome th truth that Shah had left me.
now that he's back with me,
i felt happy.
but i still cant forget what i did to Fir.
i was terribly dejected.
i cant stop thinking about my faults.
Fir , im sorry.

Im sorry that i had to let you go.
Hope you found someone better than me , kays ?
im not perfect..

dint go to scholl for a few days recently.

2008-08-01T02:45:00.000-07:00

i dint go to sch this few days.
its not that im lazy or wad.
but its just that i dont think i cant study anymore.
i dont know why?
when i get back to sch, i cant catch up with my studies.
so thats why i dint wanna go.
but that was last time.
now, im not even sure why i dont wanna go sch?
haish.
i so fucked up.
ppl wanna look down on me?
go on.
i just cant get myself to study now.
not at this moment.

which is better?......

2008-07-31T05:56:00.000-07:00

WHICH IS BETTER?

A BESTFREN OR A BEST BUDDY?

th ans is obviously a bestfren, ryt?
yeah,i know that.
hah.
im dont really care if someone takes me as a bestfren or a best buddy.
th least, i got a fren(or a buddy) to talk to.
im not that lonely.

if you guys wanna know,
im not that friendly to th ones i dont know.
i need someone to talk to me first.
really,im not lying.
thats why some ppl say im SOMBONG.
hahs.
finefine.
maybe i'll jst stop here.

takecare.
aisyah(:

the ♥ that has come to an end.

2008-07-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

hah well.im attached to Mohd Haikal Bin Samin on th 1 june 08.

but yeah,hes not that bad,actually.icant deny that.

but its just that hes so different from th type of guy i wanna be with.

hes always busy with his rockclimbing thingy, etc.it just dont have enough time for me.

when i ask you out,you said you're going out with your friends.

dont you ever think about my feelings?im hurt.really.i wanna be with you but you just dont know.yeah,im kinda hurt.

you left me,now.thanks.thanks for everything.

now,GOODBYE.

unforgettable ♥.

2008-07-10T00:01:00.001-07:00

yeah.thats it.i really cant forget him.its like,i miss him every now&then.i cant deny loving him&missing him each day.but i cant do anything.he's attached,i think so.hahas.i want him to be happy with whoever hes with right now.i cant force him to love me.really,i cant.but no matter what syg,i will never stop loving u.i had never love anyone as much as i love you.are you really my true love?i've been waiting for u for 6months plus.but when i heard you had a gerl,i decided its the end of us.i found a guy,haikal.but hes not at all like you.not even a lil bit.hes a total different chap,dear!really.but whenever im alone,i kept remembering those times when we're togther.i really miss you badly.&i really do love you.will there ever be a chance for us to be together again?i wish there were.

p/s:*I ♥ You*